If Lord of the Rings characters had modern day occupations – Part 3

It’s Saturday Bibliofriends,

That means it’s time for Part 3 of ‘If Lord of the Rings Characters Had Modern Day Occupations’!
If you missed the previous instalments you can catch them here:
Part 1 – Gandalf, Frodo, Samwise
Part 2 – Elrond, Eowyn, Faramir


Legolas: Fashion Model / Actor / Boat Designer

In his early career, Legolas spent some time as a fashion model and B-Movie actor being picked out for his lustrous long locks and willow-like figure. Touted as a gay icon, his life was plagued by paparazzi who constantly hounded him about his love-life until he was forced to come out of the closet and admit his sexuality. Tired of the exhaustive, partying lifestyle of LA, Legolas packed up and went backpacking with his close friend Gimli in the forests of Scandinavia. It was there where he met his current life-partner Kristoffsven and the pair now live in a humble treehouse where they make wooden sailboats which they ship all across Europe and naturally, to the Grey Havens.

Gimli: Retired

Coming into a massive inheritance from a distant-cousin-thrice-removed, Gimli retired early and now lives a relatively easy life. He spends a majority of the year travelling around the earth to spend time with his friends. He recently purchased a treehouse right next door to Legolas and Kristoffven and spends a lot of time at his Scandinavian retreat; however, he avoids the months when illegal dwarf-tossing competitions take place… just in case! As a part-time hobby, Gimli enjoys participating in medieval re-enactments and often loans his extensive private collections of historic weaponry and armoury to various museums and exhibitions.

Aragorn and Arwen: Philanthropists / ‘Royal Celebrities’

Having reclaimed the throne of Gondor and successfully restoring the bloodline of Kings, Aragorn and Arwen found themselves a little stifled by a life of royal oppression. Tired of living in the goldfish bowl at court, not being able to speak their own minds about political matters or causes of global injustice, Aragorn and Arwen deserted their realm in a quest for a more financially independent, private family life. The couple needed an escape pronto and were relieved when their long-time confidante Gandalf offered them the use of his private jet and an unlimited free lease on his stunning waterfront mansion in Watch Hill, Rhode Island. Massive fences were erected around the property to try and prevent paparazzi drones from flying in. Having seemingly dropped off the radar, the only people with any current access to the couple are two freelance journalists believed to be writing a biography of the former royals – even though a spokesperson for the couple stated that Aragorn and Arwen would not actually be contributing to the book themselves. An early tabloid-leak (thought to be from a hacked mobile phone), revealed details of an interview with James Corden which seems to support the rumours that Arwen has set her sights on becoming the future Secretary-General of the United Nations whilst Aragorn will be creating his own global TV production company. So much for the quiet life! 😉


Would you go and visit Legolas and Kristoffsven? Perhaps you’ve seen Gimli in one of his medieval reenactments or you’re just itching to get your hands on Aragorn and Arwen’s new bio:

Thanks to Jens Hansen! Rad Lain in Sindarin (ish…!)

Let me know your thoughts by dropping me a comment below about the different jobs you would have given these characters.

Next week in the final part, your featured LOTR beloveds are: Galadriel, Eomer and Saruman!

Thanks for reading,
T xx

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters – these posts are purely from my wild, at times crazy, imagination and sometimes use vague reflections of real-world truths. They are purely meant for entertainment purposes only and are not designed to cause offense or upset in any way.

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