If Lord of the Rings characters had modern day occupations – Part 3

It’s Saturday Bibliofriends,

That means it’s time for Part 3 of ‘If Lord of the Rings Characters Had Modern Day Occupations’!
If you missed the previous instalments you can catch them here:
Part 1 – Gandalf, Frodo, Samwise
Part 2 – Elrond, Eowyn, Faramir


Legolas: Fashion Model / Actor / Boat Designer

In his early career, Legolas spent some time as a fashion model and B-Movie actor being picked out for his lustrous long locks and willow-like figure. Touted as a gay icon, his life was plagued by paparazzi who constantly hounded him about his love-life until he was forced to come out of the closet and admit his sexuality. Tired of the exhaustive, partying lifestyle of LA, Legolas packed up and went backpacking with his close friend Gimli in the forests of Scandinavia. It was there where he met his current life-partner Kristoffsven and the pair now live in a humble treehouse where they make wooden sailboats which they ship all across Europe and naturally, to the Grey Havens.

Gimli: Retired

Coming into a massive inheritance from a distant-cousin-thrice-removed, Gimli retired early and now lives a relatively easy life. He spends a majority of the year travelling around the earth to spend time with his friends. He recently purchased a treehouse right next door to Legolas and Kristoffven and spends a lot of time at his Scandinavian retreat; however, he avoids the months when illegal dwarf-tossing competitions take place… just in case! As a part-time hobby, Gimli enjoys participating in medieval re-enactments and often loans his extensive private collections of historic weaponry and armoury to various museums and exhibitions.

Aragorn and Arwen: Philanthropists / ‘Royal Celebrities’

Having reclaimed the throne of Gondor and successfully restoring the bloodline of Kings, Aragorn and Arwen found themselves a little stifled by a life of royal oppression. Tired of living in the goldfish bowl at court, not being able to speak their own minds about political matters or causes of global injustice, Aragorn and Arwen deserted their realm in a quest for a more financially independent, private family life. The couple needed an escape pronto and were relieved when their long-time confidante Gandalf offered them the use of his private jet and an unlimited free lease on his stunning waterfront mansion in Watch Hill, Rhode Island. Massive fences were erected around the property to try and prevent paparazzi drones from flying in. Having seemingly dropped off the radar, the only people with any current access to the couple are two freelance journalists believed to be writing a biography of the former royals – even though a spokesperson for the couple stated that Aragorn and Arwen would not actually be contributing to the book themselves. An early tabloid-leak (thought to be from a hacked mobile phone), revealed details of an interview with James Corden which seems to support the rumours that Arwen has set her sights on becoming the future Secretary-General of the United Nations whilst Aragorn will be creating his own global TV production company. So much for the quiet life! 😉


Would you go and visit Legolas and Kristoffsven? Perhaps you’ve seen Gimli in one of his medieval reenactments or you’re just itching to get your hands on Aragorn and Arwen’s new bio:

Thanks to Jens Hansen! Rad Lain in Sindarin (ish…!)

Let me know your thoughts by dropping me a comment below about the different jobs you would have given these characters.

Next week in the final part, your featured LOTR beloveds are: Galadriel, Eomer and Saruman!

Thanks for reading,
T xx

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters – these posts are purely from my wild, at times crazy, imagination and sometimes use vague reflections of real-world truths. They are purely meant for entertainment purposes only and are not designed to cause offense or upset in any way.

If Lord of the Rings characters had modern day occupations – Part 2

Happy Weekend Bibliofriends,

Back for Part 2 of my nerdy little series reimagining the lives of my favourite Lord of the Rings characters if they lived in today’s world. If you missed last week’s episode, you can find Part 1 here.


Elrond: Yogi / Spiritual Guru

Still wanting to offer counsel and refuge, Elrond now runs his very own spiritual mountain retreat for wayward souls. ‘Dellriven’ offers a comprehensive yet flexible programme for those seeking to find some inner purpose and get their life’s journey back on track. Blessed with the gift of foresight, Elrond can also be booked for special one-on-one consultations and tarot readings providing advice from a plethora of subjects including business, relationships and even ‘12 types of cakes to satisfy your sweet tooth’.

Eowyn: Horse-Racing Presenter and Activist

Showing an affinity for horses, Eowyn was working at a popular racing yard when she was talent-spotted by Sky Sports after stepping up to present the Grand National when the main presenter was knocked out by one of the declared runners whilst on set. Showcasing her astute knowledge of horses and her passion for the sport, Eowyn is now a regular face at all of the key fixtures across the racing calendar and has even been flown to the Middle East, Australia and America to host some of the world’s most famous horse races. Being a female in an industry which is still heavily dominated by the patriarchy, Eowyn is an active feminist, has recently become a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador and is about to produce her own podcast rumoured to be titled, “I Am No Man”.

Faramir: PTSD Trauma Commander and Trustee of Invictus Games

Faramir, having known the horrors of war and being of an empathic nature, set about to rehabilitate and revitalise soldiers retuning from conflicts with PTSD. His gentle nature and natural leadership qualities made him the perfect person to set up the initiative. With many successes and case stories to his name, Faramir and his team embarked upon a journey to set up other training and rehabilitation centres around the world. Most recently, Faramir has joined the Governance Committee of the Invictus Games as a trustee in the hope of shining a light on life after service for thousands of former service recruits worldwide.
P.S. He’s still madly in love with Eowyn!


There had to be a horse-racing one in there at some point didn’t there?! 😂Let me know your thoughts by dropping me a comment below about the different jobs you would have given these characters.

Next week in part 3, your featured Middle Earthers are: Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn & Arwen!

Thanks for reading,
T xx

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters – these posts are purely from my wild, at times crazy, imagination and sometimes use vague reflections of real-world truths. They are purely meant for entertainment purposes only and are not designed to cause offense or upset in any way.

If Lord of the Rings characters had modern day occupations – Part 1

Happy Saturday Bibliofriends,

I’m back with a brand-new series of discussion posts throughout the whole of October! This month, I’m thinking about Lord of the Rings characters and what types of jobs or occupations they would have if they lived in our world today. From Frodo to Faramir, Samwise to Saruman – this discussion post in four weekly parts is me doing something slightly different and creative to my normal list-based / review posts. I hope you enjoy it!


Gandalf: CEO and Owner of Olórin’s Dens

Gandalf is the owner of a chain of highly lucrative, very elite private members clubs in the most luxurious cities across the world. The Olórin’s Dens are sumptuously decadent establishments where the highest profiles in our society go to unwind and relax (The Obamas, Princess Beatrice and Lin Chi-Ling have all been spotted there on occasion); think dark-wood panelling, velvet smoking jackets and champagne only available to purchase by the magnum (at a minimum). Be sure not to accidentally wander into the speakeasy bars of the club though, you may find yourself mingling with curiously strange folk who go by the names of wizard, elf or even eat… As a side venture (and a way to fund all of his Dens), Gandalf runs the world’s most renowned fireworks company which supplies the likes of New Year’s Eve displays in London, Sydney and Singapore – it’s even rumoured he also contributed to Taylor Swift’s infamous 4th of July weekends.

Frodo Baggins: Part-Time Author / Full-Time Recluse

Since relocating to his own private Scottish highland island, Frodo has been busy writing folklore anthologies and publishing his own range of Gothic quest myths for the YA audience (under a pseudonym of course!). When he is not writing, Frodo enjoys beachcombing to look for sea glass that washes up on his misty shores. Having had his fill of adventure to last several Ages, Frodo is often so reclusive that it takes his publisher around 8-14 months just to receive any correspondence from him.

Samwise and Rosie Gamgee: Founders of the Gamgee Juice Distillery

Samwise and his wife Rosie are just about to hit the London market with their range of organic, vegan juice drinks. Having purchased their extensive Somerset farm over a decade ago, the couple have spent time lovingly nurturing their crops from seed to sapling. Expanding into the botanical trend, the pair have cultivated their very own range of micro-herbs and rare berry specimens including Jostaberries, Lingenberries and Redcurrants. A firm favourite at farmers’ markets across their local county, the Gamgees range of juices, presses and smoothies have garnered many awards and are highly acclaimed to cure mild maladies such as relief for joint aches, stomach conditions and problems with skin complexion. Samwise and Rosie are also in talks with a large London Publishing House to write a collaboration with Jamie Oliver on how best to taste-match your juices with clean, fresh recipes. 


What do you think? Can you imagine any of these characters actually doing these types of things in our modern day world? What occupations would you give them?

Next week, we’re thinking about Elrond, Eowyn and Faramir so get your ideas in for what types of jobs/lives these guys could be having in the 21st Century!

Thanks for reading,
T xx

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters – these posts are purely from my wild, at times crazy, imagination and sometimes use vague reflections of real-world truths. They are purely meant for entertainment purposes only and are not designed to cause offense or upset in any way.

#Friday56 – Given to the Earth

Happy FriYAY Bibliofriends!

This week’s Friday 56 comes from Given to the Earth – the sequel to Given to the Sea in the Given Duet by Mindy McGinnis. A Given is the name for the girls who are born to be ‘given’ to the sea each generation to save the kingdom of Stille from being demolished by a giant wave.

Hosted by Freda’s Voice, the Friday 56 is a weekly bookish prompt. It’s quite easy to do and could cover no end of different books and genres so seems great if you’re looking for a quick snippet to discover something new!

Rules:

*Grab a book, any book.
*Turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader (If you have to improvise, that’s ok.)
*Find any sentence, (or few, just don’t spoil it)
*Post it.
*Add your (url) post here in Linky. Add the post url, not your blog url.
*It’s that simple.


Faja is gone, Famoor as well. In a tree I spot what remains of his bridle, slashed to uselessness. I swear in Indira and kick at the ashes of the fire.

The Indiri race, Tangata cats and Hadundun trees were what really made this series for me. They bought something quite unique to a seemingly ordinary fantasy world. You can check out my full review here.


Amazon |

Drop me a comment below or connect with me here:

Twitter | Goodreads | Book Sloth: @thebiblioshelf |Email: thebiblioshelf@gmail.com

#Friday56 – The Mist Keeper’s Apprentice

Happy FriYAY Bibliofriends!

This week’s Friday 56 comes from The Mist Keeper’s Apprentice. This debut novel by E.S. Barrison is the first novel in The Life and Death Cycle series. Big thanks to the author for approaching me and providing me with a free digital copy in exchange for an honest review.

Hosted by Freda’s Voice, the Friday 56 is a weekly bookish prompt. It’s quite easy to do and could cover no end of different books and genres so seems great if you’re looking for a quick snippet to discover something new!

Rules:

*Grab a book, any book.
*Turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader (If you have to improvise, that’s ok.)
*Find any sentence, (or few, just don’t spoil it)
*Post it.
*Add your (url) post here in Linky. Add the post url, not your blog url.
*It’s that simple.


Of all the people who had to enter her hideaway, of all the people it could have been, why did it have to be Brent Harley? His silver eyes, marked with stress and fear, left a shadow around her. His words weighed heavier.
A woman in black… Rho exhaled. But it’s only ever been me.

The Mist Keeper’s Apprentice features a beautifully crafted world with labyrinthine tunnels, a soul enshrouding mist-demon and a main character who strives to stand up for his own destiny. You can check out my full review here.


Amazon | Follow on Twitter |Author’s Website

Drop me a comment below or connect with me here:

Twitter | Goodreads | Book Sloth: @thebiblioshelf |Email: thebiblioshelf@gmail.com

#Friday56 – Twelve: Poems Inspired by the Brothers Grimm Fairy Tale

Happy FriYAY Bibliofriends!

This week’s Friday 56 comes from Twelve: Poems Inspired by the Brothers Grimm Fairy Tale by Andrea Blythe which I received as an eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thanks to Andrea Blythe and Interstellar Flight Press for the copy. It was a bewitching, fresh retelling of a classical Brother Grimm story of the Twelve Princesses.

Hosted by Freda’s Voice, the Friday 56 is a weekly bookish prompt. It’s quite easy to do and could cover no end of different books and genres so seems great if you’re looking for a quick snippet to discover something new!

Rules:

*Grab a book, any book.
*Turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader (If you have to improvise, that’s ok.)
*Find any sentence, (or few, just don’t spoil it)
*Post it.
*Add your (url) post here in Linky. Add the post url, not your blog url.
*It’s that simple.


The Black Fox could steal anything – jewels hidden inside castle keeps, entire towers full of gold or the tower itself, kisses and secrets and lives.

This is such a wonderfully short and sweet read. If you’re a fan of fairytales and modern retellings which give the protagonists their own identity and voice then there’s sure to be a lit for you to like in Twelve. If you want to find out more about Twelve: Poems Inspired by the Brothers Grimm Fairytale then you can check out my full review here.

Amazon | Interstellar Flight Press| Author’s Website | Twitter | NetGalley


Are you a fairytale fanatic? What’s your favourite fairy tale retelling? As always, drop me a comment to chat!

T xx

Connect with me here:

Twitter | Goodreads | Book Sloth: @thebiblioshelf |Email: thebiblioshelf@gmail.com

Biblioshelf Musings – Twelve: Poems Inspired by The Brothers Grimm Fairytale

Aloha Bibliofriends,

Fairytales have always had a special place in my heart. I love reading and analysing them so much so that my university dissertation was based on the tale of Sleeping Beauty and a whole section of my bookshelves are dedicated to fairytale theory books from the likes of Jack Zipes, Bruno Bettelheim and Marina Warner. When I came across Twelve: Poems Inspired by The Brothers Grimm Fairytale by Andrea Blythe as an eARC on NetGalley I was immediately captivated and wanted to read it. Thank you to Interstellar Flight Press, Andrea Blythe and NetGalley for providing me with a copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.


Book: Twelve: Poems Inspired by The Brothers Grimm Fairytale by Andrea Blythe
Genre: Fairytales / Poetry
Publication Date: September 7th 2020
Publisher: Interstellar Flight Press
Pages: 64
Rating: 📚📚📚📚

Synopsis (from Goodreads)

Twelve is a poetic retelling of the Brothers Grimm fairytale “The Twelve Dancing Princesses.” Bewitching and beguiling, this short series of linked poems takes the reader to the underground realm and back, following the stories of twelve princesses and their life after the magic shoes.

My Musings

To me, fairytales are the original story. With elements of folklore and oral-storytelling passed on from generation to generation until they are finally written down and published for anyone to read, it’s no wonder that each of these amazing stories have different variations and attributes linking to a myriad of cultures across our planet. Modern-day retellings often seek to gender-bend or feminise these tales, questioning the traditional roles of the obedient princesses who require a loving stereotypical marriage as their happily ever after.

In Twelve, Andrea Blythe manages to pull off a modern retelling in spectacular fashion whilst retaining the elements of fairytales and storytelling which all of its fans love. Taking each sister one by one, Blythe dedicates each of the Twelve Princesses with their own unique voice and identity giving fresh substance and purpose to the once subservient, archaic damsels-in-distress in search of their prince.

As characters of their own, we see the ringleader whose decision it was to condemn their failed suitors to death; the sister whose stubbornness and obstinance defied punishment and carried on her dancing regardless of the King’s ruling; the wannabe-baker who despite being told to stay out of the kitchen ends up finding more than one passion in the pantry; the Belle-like book-lover who managed to camouflage herself amidst the stacks.

Twelve was not quite poetry in the form I was anticipating and represents more of a prose-style narrative, however the writing was lyrically beautiful just the same. Language and imagery contribute to a huge part of my enjoyment in a book and, for something shorter than what I’m used to reading, Blythe brought this in spades! The haunting imagery of the Third Sister’s tale is sure to resonate with any bibliophile who has ever been lost and caught up in their own little bookish world.

The Author’s Note at the end seeks to clarify Blythe’s inspiration for writing these wonderful poems. It gives credence to the fact that she is well-versed in the genre and this tale in particular. It was interesting to read her motivations for writing Twelve and take on board her own viewpoint in bringing these stories to life.

Favourite Quotes:

Her blood spit within her veins like dragon fire.

The library became her realm. She slept on the nests of old discarded pamphlets and nourished herself on the pages she consumed.

She might read you and find in your flesh the story that shapes you.

Any small fraction of magic could have settled itself under her skin.

Why Should I Read This?

For the bewitching storytelling.
For a fresh uplift on a classical fairytale.
For the diverse representations and identities of the Twelve Princesses.

Any reader with a passion for fairytales is sure to find something to enjoy in this short and sweet collection of poems based on tale of The Twelve Princesses from The Brothers Grimm.

Find out more about this book here:

Amazon | Interstellar Flight Press| Author’s Website | Twitter | NetGalley

Connect with me here:

Twitter | Goodreads | Book Sloth: @thebiblioshelf |Email: thebiblioshelf@gmail.com

#Friday56 – Ignite the Sun

It’s FriYAY time again Bibliofriends!

This week’s Friday 56 comes from Ignite the Sun by Hanna C. Howard which I received as an e-arc from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. It was a brilliant traditional YA fantasy debut in which light battled against dark!

Hosted by Freda’s Voice, the Friday 56 is a weekly bookish prompt. It’s quite easy to do and could cover no end of different books and genres so seems great if you’re looking for a quick snippet to discover something new!

Rules:

*Grab a book, any book.
*Turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader (If you have to improvise, that’s ok.)
*Find any sentence, (or few, just don’t spoil it)
*Post it.
*Add your (url) post here in Linky. Add the post url, not your blog url.
*It’s that simple.


Milla hugged me briefly, her fleeting embrace like birds’ wings, and as she released me, I threw my arms impulsively around Phipps.

The whole cast of characters in this novel felt like they had come straight out of the pages of folklore encyclopaedias – mages, banshees, elves, dwarves, nymphs, naiads and a witch-queen. They really were my favourite aspect of the story. If you want to find out more about Ignite the Sun then you can check out my full review here.

Amazon | Blink YA Books| Waterstones | Hanna C. Howard on Twitter


Have you read Ignite the Sun? What are your favourite folklore characters? As always, drop me a comment to chat!

T xx

Biblioshelf Musings – Ignite the Sun

Happy Wednesday Bibliofriends,

When I came across and read the blurb for Ignite the Sun by Hanna C. Howard whilst scrolling through Netgalley, my interest was immediately piqued from the mention of a witch queen and the battle between darkness and light so I knew I had to click that ‘read now’ button.
Big thanks to NetGalley, Blink YA Books and Hanna C. Howard for my e-arc in exchange for an honest review.


Book: Ignite the Sun by Hannah C. Howard
Genre: YA Fantasy
Publication Date: August 18th 2020
Publisher: Blink
Pages: 295
Rating: 📚📚📚📖

Synopsis (from Goodreads)

Once upon a time, there was something called the sun…

Sixteen year-old Siria Nightingale has never seen the sun. The light is dangerous, according to Queen Iyzabel, an evil witch who has shrouded the kingdom in shadow.

Siria has always hated the darkness and revels in the stories of the light-filled old days that she hears from her best friend and his grandfather. Besides them, nobody else understands her fascination with the sun, especially not her strict and demanding parents. Siria’s need to please them is greater than her fear of the dark, and so she heads to the royal city—the very center of the darkness—for a chance at a place in Queen Iyzabel’s court.

But what Siria discovers at the Choosing Ball will send her on a quest that could bring back the Light—or doom the kingdom to shadow forever. Accompanied by a ragtag group of rebels, she sets her course for the North, toward the last vestiges of the sun.

My Musings

Ignite the Sun is a delightful debut novel from Hanna Howard all about the battle between light and the dark. I enjoyed the idea in the plot that the sun had effectively been ‘cancelled’ by the witch-queen Iyzabel (you can tell I’ve been spending a little too much time on Twitter recently) and the land of Terra-Volat had been plunged into a darkness reminiscent of those places at the extremes of Earth where some days never see a sunrise or sunset. It also reminded me a little of those grey days in Britain where you know the sun is up there somewhere but it just doesn’t make an appearance – I could definitely relate to that!

This concept tied in nicely with the fables and history of Luminor and Terra-Volat. These little nuggets of the past were exciting parts of the story and helped me to understand the wider world-building of the setting and the motivations of many of the characters. It added an original dimension to a storyline which is essentially the main thread of many fantasy stories being the battle of good against evil. Howard’s take on how a witch becomes a witch and what attributes/items creatures relied upon to use their magic was really interesting.

I have to admit, I found the main character Siria slightly annoying towards the start of the novel – she came across as very pampered and whiny however it seems this is part of the character journey that she is meant to go through – if that’s what the author meant to do then it was certainly a credit to her character writing! Without giving away spoilers, Siria does undergo a fairly hefty transformation and towards the last third of the novel she gains a purpose, determination and resilience which made me warm to her a lot more. What I will say for that first part of Siria’s character is: thank god for Merrall! She is the perfect yin to Siria’s yang and nicely balances out the more naive and immature parts of Siria’s nature!

The ‘ragtag group of rebels’ and the relationships between them are what truly made this novel shine and is probably my favourite part of the whole story. Comprising of nymphs, naiads, banshees, elves and mages, this cast of characters gave the story classical fantasy/folklore vibes and helped to highlight the mantra that our differences are what make us all special and it is only through coming together that we can truly win against the shadows of darkness.

I always like to see the aftermath of finale events but it seemed that a majority of the novel was spent on the run and the ending came about incredibly rapidly. At times, Ignite the Sun was a little trope-tastic in some places. There was the one bed trope, dead parents trope, disguised as a male trope and on-the-run trope in various guises and forms… due to this, it became slightly predictable in places, but that may be because I read an awful lot of fantasy fiction nowadays. Not all of my predictions came off, or happened in ways I expected, however the overall plot kept me interested and invested in finding out what was going to happen to the characters I was growing to like more and more throughout the story.

Favourite Quotes:

‘…the range of colour on the mountain – the hues of deep purple, rich charcoal and slate greys, shadowy greens and dark blues that compromised such towering heights – was a visual symphony.’

Merrall: ‘”I expected you to be crying by now,’ she said. ‘Well done. You are already braver than yesterday.”‘

‘Bigger than trees, bigger than mountains, and as I gazed up at it – this infinity of glowing colour and fathomless space – I saw with sudden clarity that I was a mere speck on the endless scroll of time.’

Why Should I Read This?

For the brilliant assortment of characters and creatures straight out of a folklore compendium.
For an interesting and inventive plot-line which literally pits light against dark.
For the refreshing yet classical twist that this debut YA fantasy standalone presents.

If you love the more traditional elements of fantasy fiction then you’re bound to find something to enjoy and love in Ignite the Sun.

Find out more about this book here:

Amazon | Blink YA Books| Waterstones | Hanna C. Howard on Twitter

#Friday56 – Good Omens

Howdy Bibliofriends! Who’s got that Friday Feeling again?

This week’s Friday 56 comes from Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett which I listened to on Audiobook. It was such a funny story made all the better by Martin Jarvis’ accents and impressions!

Hosted by Freda’s Voice, the Friday 56 is a weekly bookish prompt. It’s quite easy to do and could cover no end of different books and genres so seems great if you’re looking for a quick snippet to discover something new!

Rules:

*Grab a book, any book.
*Turn to page 56 or 56% in your eReader (If you have to improvise, that’s ok.)
*Find any sentence, (or few, just don’t spoil it)
*Post it.
*Add your (url) post here in Linky. Add the post url, not your blog url.
*It’s that simple.


“You think wars get started because some duke gets shot, or someone cuts off one’s ear, or someone’s sited their missiles in the wrong place. It’s not like that. That’s just well, just reasons, which haven’t got anything to do with it. What really causes wars is two sides that can’t stand the sight of one another and the pressure builds up and up and then anything will cause it. Anything at all.” 

So this quote isn’t exactly from p.56 or from 56% of the way through the book as, to be totally honest, I didn’t have the time or motivation to find out where that part was on my audiobook – so this is one of my favourite quotes from the book instead. There are so many little gems hidden throughout this book that I would definitely recommend it to all fantasy book fans who don’t mind the more humorous side of the genre. If you want to find out more about what I thought of Good Omens then you can check out my full review here.


Have you read Good Omens or any other Gaiman or Pratchett books? What are your favourite angels/demon stories? As always, drop me a comment to chat!

T xx